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| L.W. Spearing, best Dad ever |
That summer was not without its memorable moments. On a sunny Saturday August 18th, my son Eldon and I drove down to my mother’s home in London to help tidy up the yard and to spend time with Mom, my sister Lisa and my brother Glenn in commemorating what would have been my father’s 78th birthday. Lisa and I shared a cigar for Dad and even persuaded Mom to pose for a photo with one (but she did not inhale), and the wine was flowing. I hope Dad was also there in spirit – I believe he was, because in life he was ALWAYS there, so why not after life as well?
Dad was a true patriarch in every way. When I launched a memorial web site for him almost two years ago, I wrote this tribute to him:
On December 7, 2010 we lost the greatest father, grandfather, uncle, husband & friend that we could ever have asked for. But he was more than that – to me he was a provider, protector, advisor, encourager, counselor, listener, and teacher. He was honest, kind, strong, gentle, and patient. He was consistent, reliable, and the wisest man I have ever known. He was a generous, compassionate caregiver. He was my role model; his qualities not only made him a great father but a great person – one who left a lasting impression on everyone who ever met him. I was lucky to know him for 41 years.
I remember so fondly the late-night talks we had when I lived at home. He would be standing at the back door with a cigarillo (blowing smoke out into the backyard to appease my mother and I) while I would be at the bottom of the stairs, standing in the entranceway to my basement “pad”. We would talk about everything from my love life to his post office memories; from people we ran into that day to “family business”. It wasn’t the subject matter itself I remember though, it was the wisdom and authority with which my father could speak on just about any topic. And he could always keep it light enough to show me no matter how serious the subject, we could still laugh about it (and he was side-splittingly hilarious).
I listened to him, I looked up to him, and as long as I can remember tried my best to make him proud of me because more than anyone else’s, his approval was important to me. I considered him very sage, so if he ever confided in me or showed trust in me it was the biggest compliment to me he could pay. I valued his advice and heeded it every chance I had because he was always in control, always knew just how to fix any problem or handle any situation. He was a great manager of people and I will always hugely miss his wisdom and guidance.
Everything I am today is because of who he was and his influence on my life. He was a true self-made man – raised through a depression and a world war, he started with nothing. He dropped out of school to support his family and worked hard all his life to provide my mother, siblings and me with all the comforts we could enjoy, and he never stopped providing for us and helping us even after we could support ourselves. He was successful in his career and earned the love, respect and admiration of his peers. I am so thankful that he was able to retire early and enjoy more than twenty years at home with my mother because he deserved that so much.
In recent years, my son and I would look forward to our Friday night dinners at Mom and Dad’s; it was my last “tradition” with my father before he passed away. But the final months of 2010 brought health issues to him that of course no one would have expected. Beginning with what seemed like an innocent sore tongue, it soon turned into a cancer that was too aggressive to be stopped. Being too sick to even hold up his head, it culminated on the night of December 6th, the worst night of my life. I stayed with him through the night, not even realizing then that before sunrise I would witness his final breath.
My father never wanted any tribute or memorial, not even a funeral. But I am hoping this small token of my appreciation for him will also help others express how my father impacted their lives and how much he meant to them. This will be a continuing testimonial in honour of him.
My father is not only the greatest influence in my life, he also inspired this project. His tediousness in jotting down bits of information and his attention to detail has made it possible for me to access a plethora of “common knowledge”, a large amount of which would be lost if Dad hadn’t recorded it in his notebooks, on the backs of old photographs, or on newspaper clippings and funeral cards that were saved throughout his lifetime. He even went to the trouble of drawing a family tree chart which goes back four generations, and I have used it as the project’s starting point.
And so, I dedicate this adventure to my dear Dad, Bill Spearing. Happy Father’s Day, Dad.
O, all the money e'er I had,
I spent it in good company.
And all the harm that ever I've done,
alas it was to none but me.
And all I've done for want of wit
to mem'ry now I can't recall;
So fill to me the parting glass,
Good night and joy be with you all.
O, all the comrades e'er I had,
They're sorry for my going away.
And all the sweethearts e'er I had,
They'd wished me one more day to stay.
But since it falls unto my lot,
That I should rise and you should not,
I gently rise and softly call,
Goodnight and joy be with you all.
from “The Parting Glass” (traditional folk song)
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